SHARKMANIA: deleted jokes, observations and opinions

My passion for shark movies outweighed my distrust of basic-cable talking-head clip shows and I agreed to appear on SyFy channel's SHARKMANIA: THE TOP 15 BIGGEST, BADDEST, BLOODIEST BITES. 

Here are some jokes that did not appear during the broadcast, but are good enough to blog. 

(In the TV business, we call these "web exclusives!") 

Say what you will about 2-HEADED SHARK ATTACK, it passes the Bechdel test.

If a sharknado really happened, Pat Robertson would somehow blame it on gay sharks.

A few thoughts about SHARK NIGHT 3-D

Last night I finally got to see SHARK NIGHT.  My friend Ritch Duncan and I saw it at the 42nd Street E-Walk in PRX, in a 500-seat theater with leather seats.  We paid $19.50.  Each.

Yes, that's almost 20 bucks on the shark movie that the A.V. Club rated an "F".  I should not be allowed out of the house with money.

* * *

One character in SHARK NIGHT 3D reveals that his email address is Gordon79.  So presumably he's a 32-year-old college student.

Or it could be the script was written 12 years ago.  That might make sense, because one of the characters is described as being good at making "mix tapes" -- not iTunes playlists, MIX TAPES.

* * *

One guy walked out of the theater during the movie.  Maybe he was expecting SHARK KNIGHT 3-D?


* * *

Whether you see SHARK NIGHT in 2D or 3D, the characters are still in 1D.

JAWS vs. SHARK NIGHT: two kinds of shark movie posters

Since it's SHARK WEEK, I'll look at the two kinds of shark movie posters.

Let's compare a classic with a new one:

The gold-standard is the above artwork for the 1975 film JAWS. We all know this iconic image: Lady swims naked, blissfully unaware that she is about the be chomped by the giant shark.  

But in SHARK NIGHT's image, the woman realizes the life-and-death situation, her face expresses panic and terror as the leviathan lunges towards her.

So which works better for you?

The blissfully unaware victim OR fully-aware damsel in distress?