8 Great Horror Movies You’ve Never Heard of (But I Have, Because I’m Better Than You) [***A PARODY***]

Looking for some scary movies this Halloween? Horror Hound Kevin Maher rounds up some of the most obscure films you've never heard of, because you don't know anything. 

DEAD SNOW

Zombies are quickly spreading in the mainstream media. And yet no one's heard of this German gore-fest. It's an instant cult-classic!

 THE GATE

Lovers of old movies will love this campy, tongue-in-cheek tribute to scary cinema.

TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE PART 3: LEATHER-FACE

Everybody knows the 2003 horror flick, but did you know that was a remake?!  And the original cult classic had not one, but TWO sequels. I did.

 

SESSION 9

I don’t know much about this film, but my friend Tim said most people just skim these types of articles so don't worry about the descriptions.

THE CARNIVAL OF SOULS

This black-and-white baby borrows heavily from George R. Romero’s cult classic NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD but still has some serious scares.  

THE EYE

This is a wholly original tale of super-natural suspense staring super-hottie Jessica Alba. I haven't seen this one, but I came across it on imdb. 

SUSPIRSIA

The ultimate cult classic where an American girl uncovers evil at a boarding school.  In true Euro-horror style, the viewer is left to decide if the whole experience was just in her imagination.

PUMPKINHEAD

Admit it: you didn’t know about this one, either. I haven’t seen it, but I’ve heard of it. Not like you.

        * * * 

Ha ha, get it? 

Man, I hate those list-articles that pop up this time of year. 

But seriously, if you want to see a fun show, come to KEVIN GEEKS OUT: ALL ABOUT EVIL at the Alamo Drafthouse. Get tickets here. 

Kevin Geeks Out All About Evil Trailer from Matthew Glasson on Vimeo.

KEVIN GEEKS OUT: ALL ABOUT EVIL

with special guests:
Clown Matt Glasson
Comedian Rusty Ward
Filmmaker Matthew Glasson
Cult movie blogger Tenebrous Kate
Variety Show host Tom Blunt

and your host, Kevin Maher

Get tickets here.

KING KONG: DELETED SCENE

Here's a new award-wining* film I made with Bill Scurry, from a script I wrote with Daily Show writer Elliott Kalan.

Directed by Kevin Maher and Bill Scurry

Written by Kevin Maher and Elliott Kalan
(with an additional joke by Michael Reisman)

Edited by Bill Scurry

Sound and lighting design by Spencer Moore

Title card illustration by Mike Young

The Players

Casey Jost................ Carl Denham

Mike Birch................. Captain Englehorn 

Doug Bost................. Tex

Mark Grenier............. Smitty

Ron Palais................. Ace

Brian Grosz............... Lou

Noah Tarnow............ Jake

Jon Bander............... Curtis

Christopher Dwane.... Rico

Rusty Ward............... Rusty

Matt Wilson............... Wilbur

Glen Heroy................ Bert 

Shot entirely aboard The USCGC LILAC, an authentic 1933 lighthouse tender. You can visit the historic ship at Pier 25 in New York City. (To learn more, click here.)

*King King: Deleted Scene won the audience award at the Iron Mule comedy film festival. It also played at the Gangrene film festival in Salt Lake City. The film premiered at the 92Y Tribeca as part of KEVIN GEEEKS OUT ABOUT MONKEYS (a multi-media variety show about primates in movies, television and comic books.)

Fun-fact: I wanted to make sure no one had already explored this angle, so I read some KONG fanfiction online. But everything I read was gratuitous sex scenes, often involving Captain Englehorn and female characters who don't appear in the film.
**Related Posts: Happy Anniversary King Kong

Kevin Geeks Out About Monkeys recap (Summary of the 2010 show, not the 2013 edition)