5/10/11

Kevin Geeks Out about EATEN ALIVE


The latest installment of Kevin Maher & Rusty Ward's web-series looks at EATEN ALIVE (1977)  a.k.a. Death Trap, a.k.a Horror Hotel, a.k.a. Starlight Slaughter, a.k.a. Legend of the Bayou, a.k.a. Brutes & Savages.

Director Tobe Hooper is probably best know for two films: THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1975) and POLTERGIEST  (1982).  But in the years between those two classics, he directed a handful of other films, including: VENOM (1981),  THE FUNHOUSE (1981) and the made-for-TV movie of SALEM'S LOT (1979). 

But the most stylistic and bizarre offering from that period has got to be EATEN ALIVE. The movie plays like a Carol Burnett Show parody of CHAINSAW, complete with hokey sets, colorful costumes and lots of wigs.  Storywise, the film's first act has a lot in common with PSYCHO, where a young girl escapes a Cathouse and seeks shelter in a run-down motel, where she is murdered. But instead of being hacked to pieces by a transvestite with Mommy issues, she's beaten by a long-haired war veteran and fed to a giant alligator (or maybe it's a crocodile.  This detail is never made clear.  Motel-owner Judd claims it's a crocodile from Africa, but he proves to be an unreliable narrator.) 

Previously I'd included EATEN ALIVE as part of the post-JAWS knock-offs that feature other aquatic monsters. (Like many of those titles, it had a trailer that compared it to JAWS.)  But watching the movie it seems to belong to a different sub-genre entirely: Fear of the South.  Certainly this genre (which was popular in the late 60's and 70's) includes TEXAS CHAINSAW, but it has roots in EASY RIDER and maybe even the Zapruder film.  On the surface, there's obvious differences, like Yankees do not know how to deal with a 'gator the way Floridians might.  But on a deeper level, I wonder if the real horror comes from Northern liberals who fear the Americans that elected Nixon. (This genre can be summed-up beautifully by an old National Lampoon comic book parody "Tales From the South", see below.)  

CHAINSAW has the advantage of a Texas filmmaker portraying the villains as monstrous Texans, EATEN ALIVE never really pinpoints a geography.  It's just "the South", it could be Florida, Mississippi, Louisiana, we never know... 


Part of the reason CHAINSAW is so powerful is that it has the look of a documentary.  But with EATEN ALIVE, Hooper goes 180, embracing every form of artifice, with a broad location, corny wigs, and a hokey sound-stage swamp.  I don't know what exactly he's going for, but somehow it all works and makes for a good time. Adding to the madness, are the over-the-top performances from Neville Brand and William Finley. Plus horror fans will delight in seeing Robert Englund (in one of his first roles) as "Buck", a horny young man who is repeatedly seen trying to convince women to engage in anal sex. He's like the Trix Rabbit of Sodomy. 

Genre fans will also be delighted to see Marilyn Burns (Sally from T.C.M.) appearing as a morose housewife.  It's like seeing an old friend!  I wish she'd made more movies.  EATEN ALIVE is so star-studded that the film's poster actually puts a box around all six actors.  They're that impressive! 

I also like that the poster (see right) refers to Judd and the 'gator as friends. 

While researching the film, I came across this odd poster for the version titled LEGEND OF THE BAYOU.  Apparently, back in the day, you could build a movie's Ad-campaign around creepy teeth. (again, I credit JAWS.  It always comes back to JAWS.) 



Watch the trailer for EATEN ALIVE

Buy the DVD (single disc, widescreen)

Or purchase the Special Edition 2 DVD set (with featurettes on Tobe Hooper, Marilyn Bruns, and the real-life story of Joe Ball)

warning: Netflix is streaming EATEN ALIVE, but the movie is only 31 minutes long. This isn't a "reader's digest" cut-down, it's simply the first act of the film, and then it stops. Don't bother.

5/3/11

The Hulk and Me

One of my latest projects is co-hosting SO BAD IT'S GOOD, a movie review web-series created by Webby-award winning comedian Rusty Ward. In our first episode we reveiw the 1988 made-for-TV movie THE INCREDIBLE HULK RETURNS, this marks the first feature-length appearance by Thor. 

Now curiously, the 1988 movie takes places just 6 years after the Hulk TV series ended. (It's like attending your 6th high school reunion.)  Donald Blake mentions being Dr. Banner's student 10 years earlier at Harvard.  (That would've been 1978, when Banner was regularly transforming into the creature, and traveling the country as Bavid Bannister or David Ballinsgley, etc.) That's because the movie is supposed to take place just two years following Banner's initial exposure to gamma radiation that's turned him into the Hulk. 

Other observations and what-have-you:

In the movie, Banner has shacked up with a familiar looking woman -- it's the hot mom from Valley Girl,
one of pop culture's first MILFs.

The actor playing Thor is a bit stiff.  This could be an homage to the 1960's Thor cartoon. (for maximum wooden-ness, skip ahead to 5:15)

In 1988 NBC passed on doing a TV series of THOR, but they did make three more seasons of HUNTER.

During one sequence, Donald Blake takes Thor out on the town, because Thor is always thirsty.  (He totally has a drinking problem.)

When they walk by a marquee it announces that Dave Alvin will be playing at the bar.  Unfortunately, we never get to see him.

It seems a shame that we only get to see a short clip of Thor partying on the town.  Rusty and I agreed that it would be nice to bring Marvel Superheroes together in a non-superhero film, and see them in another genre entirely, like "The Incredible Hulk's Bachelor Party."


Related HULK material: 

The Hulk is a character I can't seem to escape.  The first KEVIN GEEKS OUT was all about the Incredible Hulk (we screened nearly every version of the animated Hulk (1966 - 1996), plus live-action footage and staged readings of HULKU (incredible hulk haiku)

At Comic Con I arm wrestled Lou Ferrigno for my web show.

During my sketch days I ended one routine by hitch-hiking (and we played the super-sad Hulk song "The Lonley Man" -- p.s. why would anyone want this as a ringtone?  To condition onself to cry at incomign phone calls.)

If you want a more upbeat tune, download this rockin' 45 of Nobody Loves the Hulk.

Even KEVIN GEEKS OUT ABOUT SHARKS related back to the Hulk.  It always goes back to the Hulk.

And here's the time we mentioned the Hulk's "Terror in Times Square"...



3/16/11

Look at me, look at me



Here's my updated writer-producer reel.

This features work from AMC's The Sci Fi Department, Comedy Central/Atom's Old People News, and "Next Level" a segment I created for Vh1's Best Week Ever.

Plus a sizzle with gorillas, puppets, wrestlers, dogs, hula hoops, Coney Island and me in KISS make-up.

The song is "New Rose" by The Damned, and this piece was edited by the amazing Eric Hendricks (who edited most of the original videos in the first place.)

3/15/11

Kevin Geeks Out About Dream Sequences (sort of)

How often do you get to produce a show with one of your favorite people/ inspiring peers?

Next Friday I'm getting to do just that, with the always wonderful Tom Blunt.  He's has been hosting MEET THE LADY an excellent video variety show.  (named after Tom's photo blog about women he would like to meet.) 

This month he invited me to co-host and co-curate the show.

MEET THE LADY is like my "Kevin Geeks Out" series, a video variety show arranged around a theme, with guest speakers/performers, rare film clips, trivia and prizes.

The March 25th show is all about that wonderful trope: THE  DREAM SEQUENCE.  Our 2-hour extravaganza will include dozens of clips, plus:

3/2/11

Happy Anniversary KING KONG!


Today marks the 78th anniversary of  the world premiere of KING KONG

The 1933 film opened -- where else? -- in New York City.  The film screened at the RKO Roxy and Radio City musical Hall.

The moving picture was met with great reviews and general amazement.

To celebrate the KONGIVERSARY, my kids and I are making the KING KONG drink. 

2/28/11

Kevin Maher hosts The Oscar Screening Part at the Paley Center

On Hollywood's most self-important night, I hosted New York's only official screening of the Academy Awards, at the Paley Center for Media.   It was a weird night with a most eclectic-audience (not my usual downtown/Brooklyn regulars.) But it made for a fun evening.  Audience members enjoyed plenty of food and booze, while watching the pre-show and the ceremony.

From 8 o'clock until the end of the live telecast, I did comedy bits, movie trivia, dramatic readings of #Oscar tweets. Plus interactive games like "The Google Algorithm Quiz: Oscar Edition" (where audiences had to guess which actor's name brought up certain keywords when being entered in the Google Search enging.  For example, "Which actor/actress brings up the word "terrorist"?  Answer: Mark Ruffalo.) 

On stage  was joined by my old Kevin Geeks Out producer M. Sweeney Lawless, plus old friends from Best Week Ever: Norman Baker and Caroline Waxler, and from Lucky Magazine fashion expert Christina Anderson.  The commented, tweeted and even joined two audience members for a live throwdown battle of "6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon." (In the end it was an audience member who linked Kevin Bacon and Colin Firth in only three degrees.)

During one of our audience polls the crowd was asked:
"Which topic will be the first to be used for a hacky joke?
  • Charlie Sheen
  • Justin Bieber
  • Ricky Gervais
  • 3-D

2/27/11

Kevin Geeks Out About ROLLERBALL



(Click Here to hear the VIDEO DEATH RAY podcast about ROLLERBALL)

I love 1975's Rollerball.

I first saw the Norman Jewison movie as an adult while writing a comedy screenplay that was set in a 1970's vision of the future.

That project required me to spend weeks watching films like Logan's RunOmega Man, FutureworldZardoz, Soylent GreenConquest of the Planet of the Apes and more. Each movie offered a ridiculous world of tomorrow -- and don't get me wrong, that's part of what makes them so great.  I adore the very 70's aesthetic about the future -- whether it's the slightly-futuristic fashion, the oversized super-intelligent talking computers, the funky pseduo-Euro architecture, the relentless use of excessive snap-zooms, or the general self-imporance of message-y post-Viet Nam science-fiction that was about to be  made extinct by Star Wars and dozens of Star Wars knock-offs.
"I'm feelin' mean," Jonathan E in William Harrison's short story Roller Ball Murder

2/23/11

About KEVIN MAHER

Kevin Maher is an Emmy-nominated comedy writer, whose work has been seen on HBO, AMC, CNN, Comedy Central, VH1, TV One, FEARNet, and Nickelodeon.  His short films have been shown everywhere from MOMA to Troma, with screenings outside of Sundance and Cannes.


WATCH KEVIN'S REEL

Working with Kanbar Entertainment, Kevin co-authored seven treatments for animated feature films, developed two animated television series and co-wrote a sequel/Holiday special to the hit animated movie Hoodwinked!

Kevin created three original web-series including AMC's The Sci Fi Department (short-listed for a Webby) and Comedy Central/Atom's Old People News.

On stage Kevin created the multi-media shows Video Vaudeville and Kevin Geeks Out, a monthly confabulation of vintage film clips, guest experts, interactive games and curiosities.  Over the course of the run, Kevin "geeked out" about Bigfoot, Robots, KISS, Video Games,  Dummy DeathsAlien Encounters and Batman. (For that show he wrote 100 haiku about Batman.) The show was a favorite of critics, from The New York Times to Scientific American.

Before that, he performed solo comedies including the off-Broadway show "Lone Drifter."  Before that, he was one-third of the sketch comedy trio TV Head.

Journalists have compared Kevin to Ernie Kovacs and Jonathan Winters, but his highest praise came from Tiger Beat who called him "funny!"


Kevin Maher's Writer-Producer Reel from Kevin Maher on Vimeo.


UPCOMING EVENTS: 

Kevin hosts the Paley Center's Oscar Viewing Party. (Sunday 2/27)

Kevin screens his short film Puppet Rodeo at the PUNCH Puppet Film Slam (Thursday 3/10)

Kevin co-hosts MEET THE LADY: DREAM SEQUENCES with Tom Blunt. (Friday 3/25)

Kevin emcees MOVIEOKE (that's movie karaoke) at 92Y Tribeca. (Saturday 3/26)

INDEX OF COOL STUFF: 

Kevin Geeks Out: 

Kevin Geeks Out About Shark Cinema

Kevin Geeks Out About Visions of the Future

Kevin Geeks Out About Monkeys




Writing on Film/Pop Culture:

Who Owns "They Live"?

Shock Waves: or How I Learned to Overcome Zombie Fatigue

Werewolf Obituary (Paul Naschy)

Sex Love and Bachelor Party



AMC's The Sci Fi Dept: 

Conquest of the Planet of the Apes

The Barbarella and Other Sci Fi Cocktails

The Monster Self-Defense Test

The Toxic Avenger - the Musical

2/22/11

Oscar Party @ The Paley Center - hosted by ME

One of my favorite places in all of New York City is the Paley Center (formerly the Museum of TV and Radio.  I will always call it that, the same way I'll always call The PNC Bank Center "The Garden State Arts Center") because there's something amazing about communal TV viewing.

You can imagine how flattered I was when they invited me to host their screening of the Academy Awards.  It's going to be a party with food and drinks, oscar voting, trivia and comedy bits during commercial breaks (with me!)  Plus I'll be joined by old friends M. Sweeney Lawless, Norman Baker and Caroline Waxler. 

Rub elbows with film fanatics, TV geeks, drunk bloggers, and media-ecologists like myself as we watch Hollywood's most self-important night. 

Sunday February 27, 2011
(doors open at 7pm, with a red-carpet walk and historic footage of the Academy Awards)
screening begins at 8pm

The Paley Center for Media
25 West 52 Street
New York, NY 

Get tickets HERE and use discount code "KEVIN" and save five bucks. 

P.S. here's a video I did about OSCAR WINNERS STARRING IN TRASHY B-MOVIES

2/17/11

SHOCK WAVES: or How I learned to overcome zombie fatigue and love undead monster movies


(NOTE: The following post first appeared on the SF Signal website, when editor-in-chief John DeNardo asked me the question: What was the last science-fiction film that surprised you in a good way?)  

An optimist might say that we’re experiencing a zombie renaissance, with zombie-themed TV showsliteratureflash mobs and conventions.

A pessimist would point to the cliché noveltiescrossover comics, booksgimmicky poetryetc., as though the undead-merchandize is a zombie plague in itself, with mindless products walking (or running) across the multi-media landscape.

Having suffered from “zombie fatigue”, I was surprised and delighted by the movie SHOCK WAVES. (1977).

We’ve seen adaptations of “Tales from the Crypt” (anthology movies, feature films and the HBO series) but SHOCK WAVES is like a "WEIRD WAR TALES" movie!  The film’s faux-documentary opening sets the tone nicely:



2/11/11

Hey Tanzania, we got COMMANDO covered....

There's an excellent video that's making the rounds, aimed at subverting the stereotypes of Sub-Saharan African Communites.  What better way to illustrate that point than to showcase a 9-year-old boy recapping the plot of Schwarzenegger's 1985 classic COMMANDO?

A very cool project, no doubt. (Learn more about the project here)


But just for the record, my 2-year-old boy was reciting "kill lines" from COMMANDO way before this other video went viral.  I recorded it last year, as part of a short-lived series called "Diary of a Cool Dad."

Here's my kid doing his Arnold impression (he quits just before saying "Right now I'm very hungry and I eat green berets for breakfast right now.")


Calvin does Commando
Uploaded by KevinMaher. - Videos of family and friends from around the world.

1/28/11

F.A.Q. FOR THE GUY WITH THE HUGE NUTSACK (old comedy sketch)

Today's "old comedy sketch" was written for Giant Tuesday Night of Amazing Inventions and Also There is a Game, the weekly comedy-variety show created by Andres du Bouchet (who now writes, and frequently performs, on Conan.)  I wrote this routine and it was performed by Mike Birch, one of the most gifted comedy-actors I know. He can be seen performing in One Man Hamlet, which is the best showcase I've seen for Mike's awesome talents. But now let's go back to 2005 and a routine called...

Q&A WITH HANK

ANDRES: If you read the papers or watch the news, then you’ll recognize our next guest.  He has become an overnight sensation and darling of the media.  Ladies and gentlemen I give you the one and only Hank Robeson! 

(MIKE enters as HANK, a self-described “ordinary kinda guy”  He gently sits down on a chair, delicately holding the large hat-box which rests on his lap) 

HANK: Hi folks.  I’m Hank.  Hi.  I guess I said that already.  I’m not used to public speaking.  I don’t like to call a lot of attention to myself, I mean I’m just an ordinary kinda guy.  But I’ve been getting a lot of attention lately so I thought I’d save us all a little embarrassment by answering some of your usual questions about my incredibly huge nutsack. 

(HANK reaches into the box and takes out cards at random.  His delivery is very natural, never trying too hard; he’s gentle and “aw-shucks”-like) 


(reading card) Have you also got a huge cock or penis?
I didn’t realize there was a difference between cock and penis.  But, no, I was blessed with this super-huge nutsack, but my penis is pretty average.  If anything I guess it looks small next to my enormous nutsack. 


(reading) Does the nutsack speak?
No. But I’ve always thought it was a great listener. 


(reading) Where would you and your nutsack most like to live?
I’d like to move to a cold climate.  The cold makes my giant nutsack get smaller, hot weather makes it balloon up.  Also, I wouldn’t have to wear shorts. 


(reading) Did Macy’s really try to get your nutsack in the Thanksgiving Day Parade?
No.  They didn’t, that’s another rumor on the Internet. 


(reading) Dude, I bet you get a lotta chicks with that huge-ass nutsack.
Yes and no.  A lot of women are flirtatious, like, they really want to see my big nutsack, but the women I’ve been in relationships with really like me for who I am, not cause I’m the guy with the enormous nutsack. 


(reading) What’s your favorite movie? 
"The Princess Bride."  I could recite the whole thing, but I don’t want to bore you. 


(reading) Can you get an operation to fix your enormous nutsack?
Well if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.  Also, my health insurance won’t pay for it. 


(reading) Does having a monster nutsack hurt?
Only when I laugh.  Or when I get punched in the nutsack. And one time when a guy tried to put a cigarette out on it.


(reading) Do you support capital punishment?
That’s not really a question about my nutsack, so I’m not going to answer. Well I did answer the Princess Bride question, so – (pause) – uh, I feel uncomfortable discussing politics.  And realize, I’m used to a lot of discomfort, so I’m gonna pass. Sorry. 


(reading) Is there a website for your mega-nutsack?
I haven’t gotten around to it.  A friend of mine offered to make one for me, but I couldn’t find a good name.  There’s a lot of Big Nutsack sites out there that are just gross or it’s porn or some kind of fetish freak show.  My goal is to promote understanding, which is why I do this. 


Okay, we’ll do one more question. 


(reading) Do you have a big cock too?
Sorry.  One more. 


(reading) Is one ball bigger than the other?
I don’t think it’s bigger, but the left nut hangs a little lower by about two inches. 


You guys have been great, have a great night. 


(HANK gets up, holding the hatbox in front of his crotch.  He walks off-stage as though its contents are at once heavy and delicate.) 


ANDRES: There he goes, Hank the guy with the huge nutsack! (possible joke about how HANK can be seen on the upcoming ABC reality show "The Bachelor with the Huge Nutsack") 

1/27/11

THE SWEET SMELL OF CESS (old comedy sketch)


Today's script was written as an exercise in style, I was going for the pace and self-importance of Ernest Lehman's The Sweet Smell of Success.  For better or worse, this sketch was never produced. Photograph by Herman Yung.





“THE SWEET SMELL OF SUCKED CESS”


(E.G. KREELY, walks out onto his Penthouse balcony.  KREELY wears a smoking jacket and holds a drink.  He surveys the city like a King overlooks his Kingdom.)

KREELY: God-damn, will you look at this beautiful, god-awful city.  I hate it.  And I love it.  I’m complicated that way.

(CHAUNCY walks out of the shadows)

CHAUNCY: Yes, Kreely, you’re quite the enigma.

KREELY: (still looking outward) Chauncy, when I invite a guest to my penthouse I don’t expect him to call me an ass-cleansing solution.

CHAUNCY: That’s an enema, Kreely.

1/26/11

AUTOMATIC PILOT (old comedy sketch)

Here's an early script that was performed in the stage show "Children with Hands", directed by Oliver Butler at the wonderful UNDER St. Mark's.  Will Carlough played Pete and Paul Thureen played Felix.  Each actor did excellent work and it was delightful for me to see someone else play parts that I would've messed up.  (Spoiler: Paul did an amazing job at making the crying very real and laugh-out-loud funny; whereas I would've probably played it for laughs or made it too pathetic.)

“AUTOMATIC PILOT”

(PETE and FELIX sit side by side, holding the controls of a commercial airplane)

PETE: Confirm cabin pressure to altitude.

FELIX: Check.

PETE: Then we can kick back ‘til Fort Worth.

(PETE visibly relaxes and seems much more comfortable.  FELIX begins to sob, gently.)

1/25/11

THE FORTUNE TELLER sketch (old comedy sketch I wrote)

So I'm starting to post old comedy sketches.  It's an attempt to catalog early writings, as I've discovered that a lot of my early stuff isn't saved anywhere.  As I continue to post my old work, I'll present pieces as they were written.


Here's "THE FORTUNE TELLER"

(Stage is set with 2 chairs; one is occupied by MADAME KRISTA, an old gypsy woman. Next to her is a small sign that reads “PALM READINGS, $5”) 

(DAN walks through the curtain and sits down.  He hands the woman a five-dollar bill.) 

MADAME KRISTA: Yes, yes, let Madame Krista look into your future and see your fate.  Give me your hand…

(She turns his hand over to reveal thick black hair growing from his palm.)

MADAME KRISTA: Well…uhm…eh…it says you really like to whack-off. 

PAUSE. 

DAN: Does it say anything about my painting career?  Or where I’ll meet the love of my life?  Or if I’ll win the pie-eating contest?

MADAME KRISTA: No. Just a lot of whacking-off. 

DAN: Huh. 

(MADAME KRISTA squints.) 

MADAME KRISA: Also…you were born in a test-tube…conceived from the frozen seed of Adolph Hitler. 

DAN: No kiddin’ lady.  Why’da’ya think I pump the baloney so much? 

SFX: Wont-waaaant. 

The End.