Occasionally someone I've never met asks me to contribute writing work as a "pop culture expert." That's because I wrote a (mostly) satirical essay about being a "pop culture expert" and my name comes up when you google the damn phrase. (Read it here)
One of the most recent requests came from a flask website looking for short entries about flasks in pop culture. Here's what I wrote.
FLASK CAMEO: NATIONAL
LAMPOON’S ANIMAL HOUSE
National Lampoon’s
Animal House features all kinds of drinking, but one of the more pointed
portrayals comes from Verna Bloom’s Mrs. Wormer.
As the wife of the evil college Dean, Marian Wormer is part
of “the establishment”, but she doesn’t pass up an invitation to a frat house toga
party. Mrs. Wormer arrives late (having just come from the “God-damn senior
honors dinner”) and crashes her Buick station wagon in front of the Delta House.
Before entering the party, she takes a long pull from the silver flask stashed
in her purse.
In a booze-heavy movie, Mrs. Wormer is the only character to
use a flask. The snobs from the Omega House drink (imported?) beer from ceramic
German mugs, while the Delta slobs guzzle Jack Daniels straight from the
bottle. But Mrs. Wormer’s thirst is something that’s kept concealed. The flask
reflects a bored housewife’s double-life. Unlike the joyless villains in the
movies, Mrs. Wormer has a vice (and not just screwing a college kid who’s
almost old enough to be her son) – her drinking humanizes her and makes the
Dean’s wife much more relatable.
The Animal House
novelization includes Mrs. Wormer in the extended “Where Are They Now?” post-script,
noting that she went on to five unsuccessful stints in A.A. Wherever she is
now, her flask is probably with her.
* * *
post-script:
The editor was so happy with my writing, he sent me a free flask. I don't drink, so I'm including it as a trivia prize at Saturday's ZOMBIE show. Go here for details and tickets.
