For the children...

This is the children's guide to the Apocalypse.

Time Travel Movie Guide

We round of some time-travel movies that are worth watchng and worth skipping.

Also -- I have to give a shout-out to two TV shows: One of the most moving stories from "The Twilight Zone" is "Walking Distance." The episode is rumored to be Rod Serling's favorite, it's about a burnt-out ad-man who longs for the simple pleasures of his childhood.

An awful TV entry was "Fonz & the Happy Days Gang" -- a 1980 cartoon in which Fonz, Ritchie and Ralph Malph accompany a sexy alien named Cupcake as they travel through history. Also don't forget The Fonz's dog, Mr. Cool. And did I mention it was narrated by Wolfman Jack? This show was one-half of an hour-long block on ABC adapting hit sitcoms. it was coupled with a show about Laverne & Shirley in the army where they were beated by a pig drill sergeant (voiced by Horshack from Welcome Back Kotter.)

KISS NIGHT rocked

Thanks everybody who came out to KISS NIGHT! I had a blast and I hope you did, too. For those of you who missed it -- we watched KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK, we screened clips of Gene Simmons in the 1984 robot-spider movie RUNAWAY and, in keeping with the movie's story (KISS fights robots), we got an audience member to compete with Rob's robot-clone in a beer-guzzling contest. (watch the video below)




Now here are some KISSKUS (KISS Haikus) by Rebecca Maher, Mike Whalen, M. Sweeney Lawless and Kevin Maher


How many girls you ask?
Don’t know. How many grains of
sand on the beach?

~

Girls, booze, drugs, fame.
That’s not why KISS does it.
They do it for the money.

~

I checked on YouTube
But no one has made KISS Meets
The Phantom Menace

~

I have a sex dream
Where the members of KISS fuck
The Facts of Life chicks.

~

When Geraldo said,
Stick out your tongue Gene, he said
“Can’t, the floor’s not clean”

~

Want to find world peace?
Don’t send Marines to Iraq
Send the KISS Army

~

We begged them – begged them
“Take off your makeup!” They did.
By that time, who cared?

~


PAUL STANLEY
Do you take requests?
Here’s a request for you:
Could you wear your shirt?

~

Gene Simmons' "Love Gun"
is the children's toy I pine
for every Christmas.

~

Only place you’ll find
death before disco is in
the dictionary.

KISS NIGHT is March 11th

I'm hosting KISS NIGHT! at the next SCI FI SCREENING ROOM

WHAT: Screening of KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK (1978)

WHEN: Tuesday March 11th @ 7 PM

WHERE: The Theater Under St. Mark's
94 St. Mark's Place (between 1st Ave and Avenue A), NYC

HOW MUCH: 7 bucks (free if you wear KISS Make-up)

* A TIME OUT NEW YORK BEST BET and a VILLAGE VOICE CHOICE




The screening includes trivia, prizes, and KISS haikus. There'll be cheap beer and free snacks.

It's co-hosted by Rob Gorden, the host of Spike TV's Geek Ray Vision



After the movie join us for REBELREBEL at LIT LOUNGE
(93 Second Avenue, between 5th and 6th Streets)



It's an all-night KISS PARTY hosted by Joey Nova, including:

• An hour of KISS music from 10-11 at the upstairs bar

• An open Vodka bar from 11-12

• KISS videos projected on the downstairs dance floor

• Make-up artist Mistress Harlequin doing KISS make-overs

• The KISS tribute band CREATURES OF THE NIGHT @11 PM featuring the LOVE GUN GIRLS

• A KISS costume contest at 2 AM with the Grand Prize of a KISSOLOGY DVD set





ABOUT THE FILM:

The 1978 made-for-TV movie was produced at the height of KISS-mania. The movie follows Starchild, Cat Man, Space Ace and The Demon as they battle their robot clones while saving a California amusement park. The film was produced by Hanna-Barbera studios, so all the violent fight scenes are peppered with cartoon sound effects. Also, many of Ace Frehly's scenes are performed by a stunt double who was African American. And the band has super-powers (they can fly and shoot laser-beams out of their eyes.)

KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK is NOT ON NETFLIX (WATCH THE EPISODE ABOUT MOVIES NOT ON NETFLIX)

And it's been called THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE (WATCH THE EPISODE ABOUT THE WORST WHATEVER EVER.)

The Asylum's Bread & Butter

I love a good underdog story. These guys are West Coast Troma.

Sci-Five: Oscar-Winners in B-Movie Trash

The Sci Fi Department reviews some of the B-movies made by Oscar winners.