Friday’s Werewolf Night will be a jam-packed variety show. (You can go ahead and buy tickets here) We'll have guest speakers, readings, werewolf snacks, a howling contest, and some truly amazing footage not found on YouTube or Netflix.
But there are some very cool clips we won’t be showing for one reason or another. Here’s six of them:
1. SUPERBOY VS. WEREWOLF
I would’ve loved to include this, but the quality is pretty crummy. And no one I know has “The Adventures of Superboy” season 4 on tape.
2. LEGEND OF THE SUPERBEAST: THE WOLFMAN VS. GODZILLA
In 1980, Godzilla fought a giant, albino werewolf in this amateur Super-8 movie, which is impossible to find. Don’t worry, we have plenty of amazing werewolf battles in Friday’s show.
3. THE RATS ARE COMING, THE WEREWOLVES ARE HERE
This is another case of not being able to track down high-quality footage.
4. THE WEREWOLF (1913)
The first werewolf movie ever made – it follows a Native American shape-shifter who changes into a wolf to get revenge on white settlers. They used a real wolf for the transformation scenes. I’d love to show the 18-minute movie in its entirety, but all prints were lost in 1924.
5. BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF
I loved this smart/stylish European movie, but those were wolf-beasts, not lycanthropes.
6. MOTEL HELL
I have a liberal definition of the “wolf man”. But I draw the line at Wolfman Jack. Too bad, I enjoyed his performance as Reverend Billy (pictured)
OTHER STUFF WE'RE NOT SHOWING... BECAUSE IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU
* The episode of Barney Miller titled "The Werewolf", only it's not about a werewolf, it's just a 1970's character actor who thinks he's a werewolf. (SPOILER!)
* The 1986 TEEN WOLF cartoon. Though it's probably better than the upcoming MTV version of Teen Wolf.
* Anything having to do with FANGFACE. If I want to watch Scooby-Doo with Werewolves, I’ll just rent Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf. Which we also aren’t screening.
I get a sugar-rush just looking at them. People are going bonkers for them. TruTV wrote about them – and mentioned Friday’s Show. (thanks Suzy!)
So in the interest of exploiting America’s (seemingly-doomed) love-affair with frosted baked-goods, here’s
FIVE GREAT THINGS ABOUT WEREWOLF CUPCAKES :
1. Werewolf Cupcakes can be friends with Vampire Cupcakes (this would NEVER happen in the real world.)
2. The Werewolf Cupcake is a good diet snack – you might not eat it, because it’s so fun to look at.
3. Werewolf Cupcakes don’t suffer horrible dreams about hunting deer by moonlight.
4. Hitler, who loved werewolves, never got to enjoy a Werewolf Cupcake – but you can.
5. No one has ever been violently disemboweled by a Werewolf Cupcake.**
Again, these Cupcakes will be served at Friday's Werewolf Night!
**Unless you count diarrhea. (By the way, I’m going to be Count Diarrhea for Halloween.)
In no particular order, here are 12 songs (give or take a few songs) about Lycanthopy. I won't give too much away by saying which are the good ones. But we’ll be playing my favorites as the pre-show music for Friday’s WEREWOLF Night! Remember, you can
buy tickets here for no extra cost.
I'M THE WOLFMAN - The Fuzztones
This is a faithful rendition of Round Robin's hit, later covered by the Staggers.
WEREWOLF - Cat Power
Ignore the corny visual accompaniment.
WEREWOLF – The Frantics
If this spooky surf rock song sounds familiar, that’s because it was turned into “The 4th Dimension” by The Ventures.
MAD MONSTER PARTY? theme - Ethel Ennis
Granted it's a smorgasbord of monster references, with passing mention of the full moon, but what a voice!
Song from SPIDER BABY(a.k.a. Cannibal Orgy)
The opening song from Spider Baby is one of the best things in the movie. Besides having howling, this is sung by the Wolf Man himself, Lon Chaney Jr.! It was covered by Mike Patton (Faith No More, Mr. Bungle) with his band FANTOMAS.
2,000 LB.. WEREWOLF - The Neanderthals
You wouldn't expect such good music from a band whose gimmick is that they're cavemen wearing zorro masks. But these guys know what they're doing. In case their CD didn't give you enough Loup-Garou Tunes, they include another track titled "Werewolf From Outerspace" (as if they band wasn't gimmicky enough).
I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF - The Cramps
I'd already included this in the list of 5 Music Videos About Werewolves, but you can't give The Cramps too much love.
"CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF" and "RETURN OF THE WEREWOLF both by Timeless Miracle
Here's where things get weird. At first listen, the band sounds like a modern Christian Rock Group, but in fact, they are a Swedish Power Metal Band. I have to imagine they're huge in Sweden. "Return" is very much a "Little Red Riding Hood" song.
I'M NOT WHAT YOU THINK AS ME ANYMORE
My pal Matthew Glasson performs this bit of psychedelic rock, it gets into lycanthropy in the 2nd verse. Bonus points for sound effects.
WEREWOLF by CocoRosie
Hey, I didn't title this list "10 Good Werewolf Songs."
ROCKIN' WEREWOLF - Robbie "The Werewolf" Robinson
The guy recorded an entire novelty album in his Werewolf persona, songs about Lucifer, Dracula, and all that stuff.
WEREWOLVES OF LONDON by Warren Zevon
I wouldn't want to dissappoint anyone by leaving this off the list.
BONUS TRACKS: 5 SONGS ABOUT WOLVES BUT NOT NECESSARILY WEREWOLVES
THE HUNGRY WOLF - X
X is my favorite band, so I had to give their wolf song a shout out, even though it’s not about moster-wolves. Joe Doe wrote it after learning that wolves are monogamous(!)
HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF - Duran Duran
I'm not a huge fan, but this is a good version, no?
KILLER WOLF - Danzig
If you don’t already own Danzig II: Lucifuge, I have good news. It’s finally been released on iTunes. And if you already own Danzig II: Lucifuge, isn't it about time you upgraded that cassette tape?
WOLVES - Phosphorescent
My brother-in-law turned me onto this one. It’s a lovely, haunting song about being eaten by wolves. And there’s ukulele.
LIL' RED RIDING HOOD - Sam the Sham and the Pharohs
Frankly, I’m surprised this didn’t show up in the soundtrack of An American Werewolf in London.
added bonus: The Shammettes' response song, Big Bad Wolf
Did I leave any out? Leave your picks in the comment section.
Friday’s WEREWOLF Night! will include some amazing clips from movies, TV shows and even a vintage view-master reel. But we didn’t have room for music videos. So watch these on your own time. (Note: Videos appear in no particular order)
I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF by The Cramps
WOLF BOY by The Phibes
I AM THE WEREWOLF by The Moustaches
WOLF LIKE ME by TV on the Radio
BARK AT THE MOON by Ozzy Osbourne
I couldn't embed it, but here's the Yeah Yeah Yeah's Thriller-esque
HEADS WILL ROLL.
Researching Friday’s WEREWOLF Night! I’ve encountered novelty songs, sitcom episodes, comic books, and some surprising political rhetoric having to do with Werewolves.
Today I’d like to examine Werewolf Cartoons In The New Yorker.
As of this writing, I have not located any New Yorker Cartoons that tackle lycanthropy.
So for all you cartoonists out there, here are some suggestions for mildly amusing, single-panel New Yorker cartoons:
Werewolf in Therapy
Werewolf at Job Interview
Werewolf in book club
Werewolf in small cafe reading a book whose title references a recent trend in publishing
Werewolf at cocktail party
Married couple comments wryly on Werewolf running for elected office
Opera patrons look through their lorgnettes at a werewolf coming in from the rain and shaking
A werewolf with a bloody human leg on the counter at a wine tasting:
"Definitely the pinot with banker."
Werewolf husband wearing reading glasses, in bed with his wife, hardcover books propped in front of him:
"Now he's ravening his own work."
Werewolves at a gallery discussing a painting:
"My pup can do that."
An astronaut descends a walkway from the space shuttle as a werewolf ascends
Werewolves at a protest holding placards about fur
A human and a werewolf on a date at a restaurant
A werewolf interviews a terrified human in front of a werewolf audience
Werewolves on the trading floor surrounded by corpses:
"I know! Once you smell blood..."
Werewolf at NASCAR
"Honestly, I don't see the point. The cars go around and around and around and nobody chases them."
* Thanks to M. Sweeney Lawless for half these gags.
Buy Tickets for Werewolf Night!
Getting ready for Friday’s
WEREWOLF Night! I wrote about Adolph Hitler’s fascination with the wolf. Today we’ll look at another German philosopher’s take on lycanthropy.
Sure, we all know Karl Marx was an alcoholic who beat his wife, but what did he think of Werewolves?
He disliked them.
Marx used the Werewolf as a metaphor for Capitalism. Check out this passage:
In its blind unrestrainable passion, its werewolf hunger for surplus-labour, capital oversteps not only the moral, but even the merely physical maximum bounds of the working day. It usurps the time for growth, development, and healthy maintenance of the body.Das Kapital Ch. 8
Keep in mind Marx was writing in the late 1800’s and never got to see a Werewolf movie. (The first film wasn’t made until 1913; simply titled “The Werewolf”.) So he was working with colorful legends and horror stories.
A Sociology professor told me that you have to read Marx’s writing aloud – because his stuff wasn’t meant to be read in books, Karl was standing before crowds of illiterate, angry workers (sounds like some of my old stand-up shows!) To get the crowd’s attention he’d use outrageous rhetoric, including Vampirism.
KARL MARX on VAMPIRES:
Capital is dead labor, which, vampire-like, lives on by sucking living labor and lives the more, the more labor it sucks.
He later said the system had "become a vampire that sucks out its the peasant's blood and brains and throws them to the alchemist's cauldron of capital."
137 years later, The Village Voice used the Vampire image for
this cover. And earlier this year, the Werewolf was used here by Jeff Matthews.
Vampirism is a better metaphor for Capitalism. Werewolves can’t be blamed for their actions, but the monsters at Goldman Sachs knew exactly what they were doing.
Now buy Tickets to Friday's Werewolf night.
I love serving snacks at my video-shows.
Our new venue, the lovely 92-Y Tribeca has a café, a bar and a concession stand serving fresh popcorn and favorite candies.
But I’m still going to deliver the best in themed-between-meal-snacks for this Friday's WEREWOLF Night! Besides providing Lycanthrope-friendly-treats, my friend Lisa said she might make some WEREWOLF Cupcakes. (anyone who attended the summer screening of Flash Gordon enjoyed Lisa's delicious Flash Gordon cupcakes.)
If you can’t wait, here’s a recipe for Werewolf Cupcakes.
And sorry, but we couldn't track down any boxes of FRUTE BRUTE:
We all know that Hitler loved King Kong, but how did he feel about Werewolves?
He loved them.
* The Furher was very proud of his name. Athal meaning "Nobel" and Wolfa meaning "Wolf"
* He forced his sister to change her name to Frau Wolf.
* His headquarters in the Ukraine was called WEREWOLF.
* On secret phone calls he frquently used the code name: Conductor Wolf.
* But Hitler's greatest wolf-obsession came with the National Socialist resistance movement, known as Nazi Werewolves. The Guerilla bands stayed in Allied territory, performing various acts of sabotage and arson, and were plotting to assassinate General Eisenhower. The organization was formed at the end of World War II and is remembered as a "desperate defense of Nazism." The soldiers were required to be blood-thirsty and violent like were-wolves, their symbol was the Wolfsangel.
I can't help but wonder if this influenced Rob Zombie's Grindhouse Trailer:
Werewolf Women of the SS
Of course, we'll never know what Hitler would have thought of the 2008 movie trailer, because he died in 1978.
Go here to buy tickets to Friday's Werewolf night -- no service fee!
That's right, WEREWOLF Night!
A video variety show with clips from dozens of movies and TV shows.
With co-hosts, Ritch Duncan and Bob Powers, reading from their new book The Werewolf's Guide to Life: A Guide to the Newly Bitten.
And Special Guest Matt Mitler (star of Basket Case 2 and The Mutilator). Mitler will be showing scenes from Deadtime Stories, where he played Willie the Werewolf.
* Werewolf snacks
* Q&A with Werewolf Experts
* Famous Actors as Wolves
* Epic Battles
* Rarely Seen TV Clips
* Trivia, prizes and a Howling Contest!
KEVIN GEEKS OUT ABOUT...WEREWOLVES (aka Werewolf Night!)
Friday September 25th
200 Hudson Street
buy tickets here.
You can buy tickets in advance for NO EXTRA CHARGE.