HORROR MOVIES A to Z

To get ready for Thursday's ZOMBIE SPECTACULAR** at Nitehawk Cinema, here's an A-Z poem about horror films. 

A is for Alien, chest-bursting bitch

B is for Belial, makes baskets twitch

C's for Chatterer, cenobite #2

D is for Damien, this hanging's for you

SHARKMANIA: deleted jokes, observations and opinions

My passion for shark movies outweighed my distrust of basic-cable talking-head clip shows and I agreed to appear on SyFy channel's SHARKMANIA: THE TOP 15 BIGGEST, BADDEST, BLOODIEST BITES. 

Here are some jokes that did not appear during the broadcast, but are good enough to blog. 

(In the TV business, we call these "web exclusives!") 

Say what you will about 2-HEADED SHARK ATTACK, it passes the Bechdel test.

If a sharknado really happened, Pat Robertson would somehow blame it on gay sharks.

KILLER MACHINES AND ME

Thanks everybody who came out to see Brian Solomon and me hosting "THE PRICE IS RIGHT" Vincent Price double-feature. 

If you missed it, here's an episode of Brian's podcast where we talk about KILLER MACHINES, talking about everything from MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE to ELLO GOV'NOR. 

You can hear it all HERE

BONUS: 

Here's one of my all-time favorite clips, the evil truck climax from NIGHTMARES: 



This is a DUEL rip-off, but the breaching truck is pure JAWS. Curiously, director Joseph Sargent would go on to make JAWS: THE REVENGE. 

And here's the trailer for MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE:



This made my list of 5 Awesome Trailers For Not-So-Awesome Films

SHARKS VS. SUPER-HEROES

In 1975, after JAWS defined the term "summer block-buster" there were dozens of B-movie rip-offs rushed into production. But there were also some JAWS-inspired comic books, here are a few...

JAWSFEST 2012 and the BROOKLYN OBSERVATORY screening

This summer I did two performances of KEVIN & MATT GEEK OUT ABOUT SHARK MOVIES:  One show at the Brooklyn Observatory and another at JAWSFEST in Martha's Vineyard. 

Here are some photos from the events: (including winners of our JAWS 2 COLORING BOOK Contest) 

Also, here's New York Magazine's piece on JAWSFEST including a chat with Matt. 

Coloring Book Contest at KEVIN & MATT GEEK OUT ABOUT SHARK MOVIES

This Thursday night, Matt Glasson and I will celebrate Shark Cinema. 

Here's a contest for you! 

Print one of these coloring book pages and color it in. 

Bring your page to the show and we'll give a prize to the best page.

You could win passes to the New York Aquarium and other shark-related prizes. 

JAWS joke

Did you know the swimmer from JAWS had dandruff?


They found her Head & Shoulders on the beach. 

Countdown to JAWSfest

I'm counting the days until JAWSfest in Martha's Vineyard. (I'll be there to co-host a Shark Movie Geek Out at Flatbread Pizza on Friday Night's Shark After Dark.)

To get ready I've been re-watching the JAWS movies and reading Patrick Jankiewicz's excellent book JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE: A JAWS COMPANION.

Here are some "fun facts" that demand to be shared:

Universal had wanted Charlton Heston to play Quint.

In Peter Benchley's novel, Hooper is having an affair with Ellen Brody and he is eaten by the shark.

Mrs. Kitner's poster notes that her son Alex was killed by the shark on June 29th -- the same day Quint says the Indianapolis sank.

"You're gonna need a bigger boat" was ad-libbed by Roy Scheider.

Director Jeannot Schwarc was hired to direct JAWS 2 based on the strength of the earthquake scenes he directed in William Castle's BUG

An early draft of JAWS 3-D revealed that the shark was the same burnt-faced shark from JAWS 2. 

Actor Mark Gilpin (Sean Brody in JAWS 2) remembers his co-star Donna Wilkes: "Donna had a lot of pressure, because she's the one who had to freak out so much in the film. Donna kept to herself on JAWS 2, because she had to constantly psych herself up."

Shark Movie Mayhem at the Brooklyn Observatory

Do you like SHARK movies?
Then join Matt Glasson and me (Kevin Maher) as we GEEK OUT about Shark Cinema!  It's Thursday August 9th at the Brooklyn Observatory.

Upcoming shows

I've got some upcoming events that the world needs to know about...

This weekend, I'm heading to Boston for GEEK WEEK! 

On Saturday night, I'm doing crash-course on shark-cinema with KEVIN GEEKS OUT ABOUT SHARKS.  (get tickets here) 

Later that night Mark Douglas appears as ANDREW 12-SIDED DICE CLAY (I wrote his stand-up material, which will include a slide-show of Flat Stan Lee)
Get tickets here.  

On Sunday afternoon I'm leading a workshop titled TRUE TALES FROM THE WRITERS' ROOM: The business and craft of writing, click on the link to sign-up. 

In May, I'll return to NYC's 92Y Tribeca with an all-new comedy variety show called KEVIN GEEKS OUT: THE GREAT GRAB BAG SHOW (click here for details) It'll cover a variety of topics including NYC's secret history of pinball, Turkish Cinema's Greatest Hits and an appreciation of Vanilla Ice.  

Kevin Geeks Out About Rip-Off Cinema

 

Kevin Geeks Out is the comedy-variety show hosted by writer-comedian Kevin Maher – a confabulation of vintage film clips and videos, new finds, guest experts, games and curiosities. To geek out with Kevin you don’t need to be a geek, you just need to love cool stuff. 

Since 2008, Kevin has geeked out with 23 different installments of his video variety night to fill those gaps in your education about Bigfoot! – Robots! – Video Games! – Werewolves! – KISS! – Batman! – and Sharks! His shows have been critics’ picks in the Village Voice, Time Out New York, Gothamist, The New York Times’ “Urban Eye”...and what other comedy show can you name that’s been featured in Scientific American Online?

This month, Kevin Geeks Out about RIP-OFF CINEMA, chronicling the “knockbusters” that attempt to capture the magic of E.T., KING KONG, WAR OF THE WORLDS and other big-budget blockbusters. The two-hour cultural cavalcade includes trivia, snacks, prizes, and guest speakers presenting rare film footage and TV clips you won’t find on YouTube or Netflix.  Kevin is joined by some very special guests:  

·      Emmy Award-winning Daily Show writer Elliott Kalan looks back at his favorite E.T. rip-off.  (It’s not Mac and Me!)

·      Writer M. Sweeney Lawless gives a brief history of films that aped KING KONG.

·      Comic Book Blogger Nick Nadel presents a montage of Super-hero knock-offs from around the world.

·      Professor Geoff Klock illustrates the difference between a rip-off and an homage.

·      Filmmaker Matthew Glasson shares scenes from his favorite JAWS copycat (that was actually banned from the U.S. for copyright infringement!)

·      Horror Blogger Brian Solomon presents a study of HALLOWEEN rip-offs.

·      And Artist-Baker Sara Reiss serves up “knock-off” themed treats.

·      Plus trivia games and prizes that will include knock-off products.


KEVIN GEEKS OUT ABOUT RIP-OFF CINEMA
Thursday September 15th @ 8pm
92Y Tribeca, 200 Hudson Street  NYC


buy tickets HERE

APES movie during SHARK WEEK

It just occurred to me that the new PLANET OF THE APES movie opens during SHARK WEEK.

Those are two of my favorite sub-genres.  

To honor the occasion, I want to tell you about A*P*E (1976)

This American-Korean co-production was rushed-out to cash-in on KONG FEVER that was brewing around Dino De Laurentiis's big-budget remake of KING KONG.

A*P*E (which isn't an actual acronym, maybe they were additionally trying to capitalize on M*A*S*H*-fever) was produced by Jack H. Harris (whose credits include some cult favorites including The Blob and Dark Star).

Harris managed to con FAMOUS MONSTER OF FILM-LAND into getting his movie on the cover of their magazine**, with this over-the-top illustration of his giant monkey pummeling a JAWS-like shark. (Remember in the mid-70's JAWS was the ultimate blockbuster.)  The film includes a brief sequence in which the APE encounters a great white shark (a one-two punch of ripping of KONG and JAWS, while suggesting that their film is superior to Spielberg's.)

This epic battle between a 36-foot-tall monkey and a really big shark comes off more like a guy in a torn gorilla costume thrashing around an already-dead shark. At the end of the scene he actually splits apart the shark's mouth, ruining it for good and ensuring that there won't be anymore filming of this scene. (There's a reason this film was made outside the U.S.)

Oh, did I mention this all takes places in the first 5 minutes of the movie.

In 3-D.

JAWS vs. SHARK NIGHT: two kinds of shark movie posters

Since it's SHARK WEEK, I'll look at the two kinds of shark movie posters.

Let's compare a classic with a new one:

The gold-standard is the above artwork for the 1975 film JAWS. We all know this iconic image: Lady swims naked, blissfully unaware that she is about the be chomped by the giant shark.  

But in SHARK NIGHT's image, the woman realizes the life-and-death situation, her face expresses panic and terror as the leviathan lunges towards her.

So which works better for you?

The blissfully unaware victim OR fully-aware damsel in distress?

Kevin Geeks Out about EATEN ALIVE

The latest installment of Kevin Maher & Rusty Ward's web-series looks at EATEN ALIVE (1977)  a.k.a. Death Trap, a.k.a Horror Hotel, a.k.a. Starlight Slaughter, a.k.a. Legend of the Bayou, a.k.a. Brutes & Savages.

Director Tobe Hooper is probably best know for two films: THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1975) and POLTERGIEST  (1982).  But in the years between those two classics, he directed a handful of other films, including: VENOM (1981),  THE FUNHOUSE (1981) and the made-for-TV movie of SALEM'S LOT (1979). 

But the most stylistic and bizarre offering from that period has got to be EATEN ALIVE. The movie plays like a Carol Burnett Show parody of CHAINSAW, complete with hokey sets, colorful costumes and lots of wigs.  Storywise, the film's first act has a lot in common with PSYCHO, where a young girl escapes a Cathouse and seeks shelter in a run-down motel, where she is murdered. But instead of being hacked to pieces by a transvestite with Mommy issues, she's beaten by a long-haired war veteran and fed to a giant alligator (or maybe it's a crocodile.  This detail is never made clear.  Motel-owner Judd claims it's a crocodile from Africa, but he proves to be an unreliable narrator.) 

Previously I'd included EATEN ALIVE as part of the post-JAWS knock-offs that feature other aquatic monsters. (Like many of those titles, it had a trailer that compared it to JAWS.)  But watching the movie it seems to belong to a different sub-genre entirely: Fear of the South.  Certainly this genre (which was popular in the late 60's and 70's) includes TEXAS CHAINSAW, but it has roots in EASY RIDER and maybe even the Zapruder film.  On the surface, there's obvious differences, like Yankees do not know how to deal with a 'gator the way Floridians might.  But on a deeper level, I wonder if the real horror comes from Northern liberals who fear the Americans that elected Nixon. (This genre can be summed-up beautifully by an old National Lampoon comic book parody "Tales From the South", see below.)  

CHAINSAW has the advantage of a Texas filmmaker portraying the villains as monstrous Texans, EATEN ALIVE never really pinpoints a geography.  It's just "the South", it could be Florida, Mississippi, Louisiana, we never know... 

Part of the reason CHAINSAW is so powerful is that it has the look of a documentary.  But with EATEN ALIVE, Hooper goes 180, embracing every form of artifice, with a broad location, corny wigs, and a hokey sound-stage swamp.  I don't know what exactly he's going for, but somehow it all works and makes for a good time. Adding to the madness, are the over-the-top performances from Neville Brand and William Finley. Plus horror fans will delight in seeing Robert Englund (in one of his first roles) as "Buck", a horny young man who is repeatedly seen trying to convince women to engage in anal sex. He's like the Trix Rabbit of Sodomy. 

Genre fans will also be delighted to see Marilyn Burns (Sally from T.C.M.) appearing as a morose housewife.  It's like seeing an old friend!  I wish she'd made more movies.  EATEN ALIVE is so star-studded that the film's poster actually puts a box around all six actors.  They're that impressive! 

I also like that the poster (see right) refers to Judd and the 'gator as friends. 

While researching the film, I came across this odd poster for the version titled LEGEND OF THE BAYOU.  Apparently, back in the day, you could build a movie's Ad-campaign around creepy teeth. (again, I credit JAWS.  It always comes back to JAWS.) 

Watch the trailer for EATEN ALIVE

Buy the DVD (single disc, widescreen)

Or purchase the Special Edition 2 DVD set (with featurettes on Tobe Hooper, Marilyn Bruns, and the real-life story of Joe Ball)

warning: Netflix is streaming EATEN ALIVE, but the movie is only 31 minutes long. This isn't a "reader's digest" cut-down, it's simply the first act of the film, and then it stops. Don't bother.

You're Gonna Need a Bigger Blog: Shark Show recap and bonus material

(preface: KEVIN GEEKS OUT is a monthly video-variety show which showcased off-beat film and TV clips around a given topic.  The shows featured guest speakers, experts, performances, as well as themed-snacks, trivia and prizes.  This K.G.O. was devoted to the subject of SHARK CINEMA, it was hosted by Kevin Maher and Matthew Glasson, as "Kevin & Matt Geek Out About Sharks")

July's GEEK OUT was a massive success, we crammed dozens of clips into a 2-hour show for a packed house.  It was a great crowd and a fun night.  Thanks to everybody who took part in the evening.  For those of you who couldn't make it, here's what you missed....

MORE AFTER THE JUMP -- a lot more...

Deleted Sequence from "KEVIN & MATT GEEK OUT ABOUT SHARKS"

Thanks everyone who attended Friday's Kevin & Matt Geek Out About Sharks.  It's amazing that a 2-hour video variety show doesn't have enough time for all the footage we wanted to show.  In talking about JAWS as a pop culture force, we looked at some parodies and rip-offs.  But there was also a series of visual references that came out of the film's success, seen in this dialogue of sorts between two horror film-makers.

We'll start with Wes Craven:  In his 1977 version of The Hills Have Eyes, audiences witnesses brutal violence and carnage on screen.  After a particularly gruesome attack, we see the remains of a trailer, in the background there's a ripped poster of a shark (reportedly a poster of JAWS, but I'm not sure.)

Craven seemed to be saying "That's just a movie.  THIS is real horror."  (View this clip and more after the jump...)

TOP 5 RUMORS ABOUT THE END OF KEVIN GEEKS OUT

After 22 shows, great reviews and sold-out houses, Kevin Maher (pictured, with gorilla) is stopping the run following this Friday’s event (Kevin Geeks Out About Aliens ).  Since January 2008 Kevin produced the monthly “pop culture cavalcade”, covering favorite genre topics like Bigfoot , Batman, Dummy Deaths,  Visions of the Future and Shark Cinema.  

Here are five internet rumors about why the show is ending:

1.     Kevin suddenly realized he hates low-budget cult movies from the 70’s.

2.     Kevin only started the show to impress a cool girl in “nerd” glasses, but has since learned she has a boyfriend.

3.     Kevin needs more time to write horrible science-fiction novels under the pen name “William Shatner”

4.     Kevin wants to spend more time with his family, specifically: telling his wife and children some long, anecdotes about the critical reception to “Krull”

5.     Kevin developed a rare form of Terminal Diarrhea.

F.A.Q.: King Kong (1976)